Rubbishy Cookery

It’s fall! It’s apple season! Finally! This is a basic apple crisp/crumble recipe that apparently was also once referred to as Apple Betty, which doesn’t sound quite right in 2024. I originally found it here: Which was found in this vintage 1980s cookbook that came for free with the very first microwave oven my parents ever owned: That was back in the early days of microwave ovens, when they were promoted as a conventional oven replacement, and this book has recipes for full course microwave cooking, including « roast » chicken.  If you are interested , here is the original microwave version recipe for today’s dish, with my mother’s annotations and approval (hence the check mark): I don’t think I’m breaking any copyright laws printing this recipe, but just in case, please don’t tell Quasar. Or Betty. Anyway, we’re going to go off script, as usual. Ingredients: Directions: We’re going to have to peel some apples. Do you have an apple peeler? This handy device is a zillion years old,...

  If this recipe sounds familiar, it’s because it’s one of three of my rubbishy recipes featured in this best selling cabbage recipe book: On page 28: But here you will get the full recipe with step by step photos! Ingredients: As you can see from the photo above, all of my ingredients today have seen better days and are looking a little shabby. Some wasteful folks might even toss such pathetic odds and ends, but not us! We will make them shine in this simple and tasty slaw! Panch phora is a mixture of 5 spices, traditionally an Indian spice mix and usually consists of cumin seeds, brown mustard seeds, fennel seeds, nigella seeds, and fenugreek seeds. I used to have a supplier at the local farmer’s market but she has vanished and now I mix my own from individual spices and toast them lightly in the toaster oven: Missing from today’s mix is the nigella seeds, and I can’t really notice their absence. Everything else is pretty essential. Directions: Finely chop your cabbage without ch...

  We recently got a little Ukrainian grocery store in our town, and I finally checked it out yesterday. I found many treats and treasures, but the most exciting find for me was roasted buckwheat groats, known to my people as kasha. If the word kasha sounds vaguely familiar to you but you don’t know why, it’s because it was the running gag in an old Seinfeld episode. Everyone who entered the home of George Costanza‘s parents noted the scent of something,… was it… kasha? Now your home can smell like kasha too! Ingredients: These are my basic ingredients. If I had fresh or dried mushrooms, I would add them too. And while I was making this batch I remembered that, instead of plain water, it’s extra good with stock, so: Directions: Let’s ignore the directions on the bag, even though they’re simpler than mine, and come in three languages: And instead, make kasha the way my Bubbie did. First, pour a cup of buckwheat groats in a pot, and add a raw egg: Turn the stove heat to medium, and st...

  When I was visiting Germany a few years ago, I found this delightful and simple dish everywhere. It was even the snack food sold at an otherwise foodless beer garden! That’s my kind of country! Ingredients: Missing from photo above and a late addition: salted butter! Directions: Boil your potatoes as so: In Germany, I always received a whole uncut potato in its jacket, removed from a big steamer and wrapped in foil. We’re going to just boil our potatoes, in their jackets, but cut into big chunks to cook faster. The water they’re boiling in is good and salty. When the potatoes are fork tender, drain them and plate them, with your quark handy: Hmmm… what’s missing here? Of course! Butter! Enjoy your delicious German snack or meal any time of day! Das schmeckt sehr gut! Tschüss!

Apparently this is similar to a coffee beverage that was trendy during the pandemic, providing comfort and joy to many folks during a dark time. I, being tremendously untrendy, was unaware of this.  I think of this recipe as the café au lait  introduced to me in 1991 in Nice, France, by my Canadian friend who was living there as a poor exchange student. She drank the caffeinated version of this daily with her baguette  and croissants . I thought she was wonderfully sophisticated and chic, and fully trusted her knowledge of all things French. Take all of this with a grain of sel , however, as my friend, although fluent in French and living La vie française, also confessed to me that she missed Tim Hortons coffee. Insert le eye roll. Ingredients: Directions: Pour some whole milk into a cup of choice. I am using a homemade pottery café au lait  cup: Microwave on high for about 2 minutes, so that the milk is steaming hot: Add a teaspoon or so of sugar and about two teasp...