Rubbishy Cookery

  I have been on a lifelong quest for a way to make perfect scrambled eggs and I believe, dear reader, that I have found it. Based loosely (very loosely) on the YouTube videos of a famous Master Chef host’s recipe (who shall go unnamed in case of copyright infringement, but will be obvious to anyone who has ever been on the internet looking for scrambled egg videos), mine deviates into decidedly rubbishy territory, while maintaining (in my humble opinion) the taste and texture of the high falutin version. Ingredients: Here are the main differences between my ingredients and G.R.‘S: he uses a chef’s quality stainless steel saucepan, I use a T-Fal Teflon pan that is perpetually on sale at Canadian Tire. He used unsalted butter, I’m using salted. He used crème fraîche, I’m using sour cream. He used fresh chives, I’m using freeze dried. But it’s all good! Directions: Unlike G.R., who puts his cold butter and unmixed eggs all directly into his bougie saucepan, I’m mixing my eggs first i...

Hello again! Where did I go? I got a bit lazy and didn’t feel like blogging for a while, but then I discovered this recipe—did I invent it? Doubtful, but maybe?—and had to document it. Let’s face it. This blog is my personal recipe electronic notebook… Anyway, you need to try this, it’s so good! Ingredients: Directions: Melt a good chunk of salted butter in a nonstick pan on medium high heat until sizzling. Beat two eggs in a bowl until frothy. Get your mise en place ready with the other stuff. That means chop the tomatoes annd basil, and crumble the feta cheese. And giddy-up! Once the butter is sizzling, but before it browns, toss in the chopped cherry tomatoes and sauté: While the tomatoes heat up and cook in the hot buttery pan, chiffonade (I believe that’s the word for delicately chopping rolled up leaves to avoid bruising) the fresh basil leaves: Don’t abandon your tomatoes! Keep sautéing! And get your beaten eggs ready: I’m not adding any salt to the eggs, just pepper. Things are...

  This recipe is by special request for a special friend who recently found a mini slow cooker at a thrift store. That’s where you find mini slow cookers. Nobody buys them new. They spontaneously generate themselves at thrift stores. Just make sure you clean them within an inch of their existence. Apparently my friend is more conscientious about second hand electrical kitchen appliances than I, and she looked online to learn how to use the mini slow cooker. I did no such thing and assumed, like regular slow cookers, they could be used safely for hours at a time. Apparently the mini slow cookers are only intended to be used for a mini amount of time: four hours maximum. I’m going to pretend that I never heard this information and will continue to throw caution to the wind with my second hand mini, but you, dear reader, should take this information as a caveat to this recipe, and if you decide to use it recklessly like me, and your thrift store mini slow cooker explodes after four ho...

  A long time  ago, in a relationship far far away, I was shlepped around on many a canoe trip. I was not then, nor have I ever been, a lover of being in nature. I should never have been taken on a canoe trip, let alone multiple canoe trips, and by the same canoe-trip-loving person, because I was definitely ruining the whole experience with my whining and complaining.  The best part about those canoe trips was the morning breakfast oatmeal. It was simple and easy to make on a camp stove with lake water, and the oats with added dried fruits filled us up with stick-to-your-ribs goodness to fuel us for the day’s paddling and portaging. And mosquito slapping. And sweating. And sun burning. And getting wet hiking boots. And so on. Needless to say, my canoe tripping days are over, but my enjoyment of this oatmeal recipe lives on. Ingredients: Directions: Bring 1 cup of water to a boil in a small saucepan with the dried apples and apricots cut into bite sized pieces: Get 1/3 cup...

  As mentioned in an earlier blog post (Recipe #11), you can waffle just about anything. And yes, you can use the word waffle as a noun and a verb. At least here, at Rubbishy Grammary. Ingredients: As you can see in the above photo, the only ingredients are leftover buttery mashed potatoes and a seasoned waffle iron. If your leftover mashed potatoes aren’t buttery, or your waffle iron isn’t seasoned, you will also need oil. If you want to get extra fancy, you could also add some sautéed chopped onions. I wish I had thought of that earlier. Oh well. Next time. Directions: Preheat your waffle iron, green light means go: Add your cold leftover mashed potatoes to the hot waffle iron: And waffle: Until hot and golden brown: And that’s it! Serve as is, or make it a proper breakfast with two over easy eggs and hot sauce: So good!

  This is my current go-to breakfast, and not because I’m a health food nut. I have HFN tendencies, but as my other recipes will attest, I am not a true nut.  This breakfast tastes good, keeps me satisfied until lunch time, and is easy to put together in the morning.  I will say that healthfood-type ingredients tend to be expensive, and are becoming ridiculously expensive. This is not your cheapest option for breakfast, but you’re worth it! Ingredients: Directions: First things first. Let’s toast those sliced almonds until they are golden brown and fragrant. If you do this in your toaster oven, watch them like a hawk the first few times to figure out your oven’s settings and heat level. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve not followed this advice and burned my delicate (and expensive) sliced almonds, rendering them inedible. When they were normal-expensive, it was bad enough. Now that they’re ridiculous-expensive, it’s not an option. This is how they look pre-toasting: T...