Rubbishy Cookery

  I have been on a lifelong quest for a way to make perfect scrambled eggs and I believe, dear reader, that I have found it. Based loosely (very loosely) on the YouTube videos of a famous Master Chef host’s recipe (who shall go unnamed in case of copyright infringement, but will be obvious to anyone who has ever been on the internet looking for scrambled egg videos), mine deviates into decidedly rubbishy territory, while maintaining (in my humble opinion) the taste and texture of the high falutin version. Ingredients: Here are the main differences between my ingredients and G.R.‘S: he uses a chef’s quality stainless steel saucepan, I use a T-Fal Teflon pan that is perpetually on sale at Canadian Tire. He used unsalted butter, I’m using salted. He used crème fraîche, I’m using sour cream. He used fresh chives, I’m using freeze dried. But it’s all good! Directions: Unlike G.R., who puts his cold butter and unmixed eggs all directly into his bougie saucepan, I’m mixing my eggs first i...

  Back in my vegetarian student days, long before I had a good handle on rubbishy cooking from scratch, I relied on a lot of prepackaged meals and mixes. One such favourite was a boxed mix to add to tofu as a seasoning and binder to make “homemade” tofu burgers. It wasn’t just easy to use, but it was extremely tasty. I believe the brand was “Casbah” but who knows, because it’s long gone… Even though I’m no longer a vegetarian, I still love many of the vegetarian standbys from that phase of my life. I really loved those tofu burgers and have been determined to recreate the flavours I remember from the boxed mix. Many failed attempts, experiments, and 25 years later, I think I’ve done it! Behold! Ingredients: Missing from the above photo: neutral cooking oil, I use canola. Directions: Drain, then pat and squeeze dry your block of firm or extra firm tofu, using a clean tea towel. Then put the dried tofu into a shallow bowl and smash it up real good with a potato mashing device: Add a ...

  I love hot pot Bibim Bap at Korean restaurants, with the crispy crunchy rice, delicate vegetables, runny yolk egg, and hot sauce all mixed together in the big hot bowl. But how can you make it at home? This post will show you how to make a rubbishy homage to this classic Korean dish. Ingredients: Note that the most important ingredient here is a kitchen small appliance: a waffle maker. I don’t remember when I last used my waffle maker to make actual waffles. I only use it now to “waffle” (yes, I just verbed the word waffle)(then I verbed the word verb) all sorts of things, mostly leftover starches. More on this in future posts. Note also the fresh rice cooker pot of jasmine rice. I usually use leftover rice for this, but my dinner companion had “seconds” of rice with last night’s dinner of braised tofu (presumably to dilute the braised tofu?) and there were no leftovers for today’s dish. Also note the fresh vegetables in the picture above. I have included the pick of the seasonal...

  Today’s post is a 2-for-1, but rest assured, both recipes can be made independently and separately with good results! Recipe #8: cucumber salad  This is super quick salad recipe that you can whip up in a few minutes and impress the pants off of your dinner guest(s). I’m making a batch for two diners here. Ingredients: Directions: Slice the cucumber(s) in thin rounds with a sharp knife. A mandoline would work well, but ours is still in its original packaging and I’m afraid of it, so I just used a paring knife and sliced directly into the serving bowl (no cutting board = less clean up = less neatly sliced = I don’t care). Likewise with the red onion. I just used a small amount of the red onion you see pictured above. We want the onion to be a sidekick to the cucumber, not a leading lady. Next, squeeze a wedge of fresh lemon juice in the bowl, shake a few shakes of dried dill (or a good anmount of chopped fresh dill if you have it), add a glug of mayo and a spoonful of sou...

  When I was a young adult in the 1980s and 90s, there was a El Salvadoran gem of a restaurant in Guelph, Ontario called Latinos. It was one of my favourite restaurants of all time. I always had the same things and they never disappointed: an appetizer called Nachos Deliciosos, and a main dish called Enfrijoladas. We’ll talk about the delicious nachos appetizer another time.  Today is all about the enfrijoladas. At Latinos, the dish came with two folded corn tortillas filled with their brilliant black beans and cheese, fried on both sides, and served with sour cream, salsa, and hot sauce, with a side of their special rice pilaf and a little salad. Sadly, Latinos is gone. And after a period of despair and grief came the time to try to figure out how to move on with my life. Which meant trying to recreate their bean and cheese enfrijoladas on my own. When I searched for a recipe for enfrijoladas on the internet, I never came up with a satisfying recipe that seemed right. Most of...