Rubbishy Cookery

This week has been soup week chez nous, thanks to some minor but pesky dental misadventures with Mr. Rubbishy, and we all wish him a speedy recovery! In the meantime, the challenge has been to create new and healthful soups daily, and stretch my creative rubbishy cookery. I have embraced the challenge! Unfortunately, I’ve been so busy focusing on the matters at hand that I didn’t even think about this blog, until after I’d already cooked and we’d eaten this dish, which was unexpectedly easy and fabulous. A perfect recipe for the blog—but no photos! What to do? Get out the old art supplies and, in the spirit of the original Moosewood cookbook series, do some rubbishy drawings! Ingredients: In case my drawing and handwriting isn’t exactly the hyperrealism style of artistry you may have expected from this blog, the ingredients are: - 1-2 Tablespoons butter  - 1 onion chopped  - 2 carrots diced - 2 potatoes peeled and diced - 2 fresh bay leaves - 1-2 teaspoons dried thyme  - ...

  This is a recipe that uses not one, but two (2!) types of canned fish! Ingredients: Missing from the above photo, but should usually be assumed: salt and pepper. Also missing and a last minute optional addition: Directions: You’ve probably heard that kale needs to be massaged with oil for salads in order to soften the tough leathery leaves. We’re going to be extra frugal and massage our kale (which is coming from the late fall backyard garden crop today, harvested in the dark cold rain) with the fishy olive oil with which our canned tuna is packaged.  Here is a picture of pre-massaged kale: Add that tuna olive oil: Get in there with both hands and massage! Then you’ll have nice tender oily kale: Nice! Meanwhile, in a little dish, squish up a clove of garlic and add some salt to let the garlic mellow and soften for a minute or two: Add an anchovy: Mash them up together: Add some squeezed fresh lemon juice and a few squirts of Worcestershire sauce: Mix it all up and add a good...

  I know what you’re thinking: there’s nothing new about salmon patties. Maybe your mother, like mine in the 1970s, slapped a can of salmon together with an egg and some breadcrumbs, formed patties, fried them up, and called it a meal. And maybe your memories of them, like mine, are good.  But these, I guarantee, are better! Ingredients: Oops, I forgot to include the neutral flavoured canola oil in the picture above. But you’ll need it too. Directions: Using any canned wild salmon—pink, sockeye, is there any other?—open and drain it well. I only use canned salmon that has skin and bones included for the extra health benefits. Take a fork to your well-drained salmon and make sure you really smash up the skin and bones well. Otherwise it can be a little too real, if you know what I mean. Next, add a farm fresh egg and mash it all together: Next, add the dry ingredients: quick oats, flax meal, and black sesame seeds, in the approximate proportions shown below: If in doubt, start ...

  Today’s post is a 2-for-1, but rest assured, both recipes can be made independently and separately with good results! Recipe #8: cucumber salad  This is super quick salad recipe that you can whip up in a few minutes and impress the pants off of your dinner guest(s). I’m making a batch for two diners here. Ingredients: Directions: Slice the cucumber(s) in thin rounds with a sharp knife. A mandoline would work well, but ours is still in its original packaging and I’m afraid of it, so I just used a paring knife and sliced directly into the serving bowl (no cutting board = less clean up = less neatly sliced = I don’t care). Likewise with the red onion. I just used a small amount of the red onion you see pictured above. We want the onion to be a sidekick to the cucumber, not a leading lady. Next, squeeze a wedge of fresh lemon juice in the bowl, shake a few shakes of dried dill (or a good anmount of chopped fresh dill if you have it), add a glug of mayo and a spoonful of sou...

  I honestly thought I had invented this recipe because it fell into the category, to my mind, of “who else but me would eat this?” (See recipe #1 as well) A quick internet search proves me wrong. The World Wide Web of food blogs is positively silly with versions and variations of this exact dish. I’m going to allow it here because (a) I thought I had invented it, which is philosophically equivalent, if not actually equivalent, to my having invented it and (b) it’s my recipe blog and I can break my own rules. Also, my blog has no ads, no affiliate links, no professional photography of myself looking fabulous to distract the reader, and no readers. So let’s get on with it. Ingredients: Note that I am using gluten free bread, which is optional but not necessary unless you, too, have a medical reason to do so. You can obviously also use prepackaged pre-made croutons, making this dish even quicker and easier. Note also that I am using canned tuna in olive oil. This is also completely o...