Rubbishy Cookery

  This is a very old recipe from my childhood and not an original but I am assuming that it is now an open access, free of copyright recipe, so this is like singing an old traditional folk song without permission. It is also a very lowbrow cake that literally everyone loves and if you make it for any occasion you’ll be lauded and celebrated. It’s not a classy pineapple upside down cake, which someone will surely comment on. But I made this cake for a dinner gathering last night where the main dish was fresh Atlantic lobster, and the guests had very sophisticated, urban palates, and this cake was the hit of the night. So here we go! Ingredients: It doesn’t get simpler than that, does it? Except it does if you use a store bought white cake or sponge cake instead of making the cake in a box as I did. The other ingredients are non negotiable. Directions: First, the morning of your cake, start draining the crushed canned pineapple in the fridge: You’re going to get some nice free pineap...

  This is my current go-to breakfast, and not because I’m a health food nut. I have HFN tendencies, but as my other recipes will attest, I am not a true nut.  This breakfast tastes good, keeps me satisfied until lunch time, and is easy to put together in the morning.  I will say that healthfood-type ingredients tend to be expensive, and are becoming ridiculously expensive. This is not your cheapest option for breakfast, but you’re worth it! Ingredients: Directions: First things first. Let’s toast those sliced almonds until they are golden brown and fragrant. If you do this in your toaster oven, watch them like a hawk the first few times to figure out your oven’s settings and heat level. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve not followed this advice and burned my delicate (and expensive) sliced almonds, rendering them inedible. When they were normal-expensive, it was bad enough. Now that they’re ridiculous-expensive, it’s not an option. This is how they look pre-toasting: T...